3 Ways to survive after a toxic relationship with a “narcissist”.
He doesn’t love you, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have you? He puts you down at every turn, he tells you how inadequate you are and at the same time he is so possessive and so good to you in public, it leaves you head spinning. You don’t know whether he loves you or hates you. You walk away from his emotional abuse, but you find yourself feeling sorry for him and thinking about going back to him. If you have ever been in this situation, you probably feel trapped but there is hope, you can get out of the clasp. Here’s three ways to get yourself out of the narcissist’s clutches.
Step 1: Find your own identity.
Being in a toxic relationship for a long time leaves you with no sense of identity. You don’t know what you like anymore. All your interests are some how linked to his. You like to eat what he likes, you like the places he likes , you don’t have any sense of your own identity. But the first step to get out of his emotional web is to find something outside of his interests. Start creating your own identity. Find yourself again.
Step 2: Surround yourself with people who care for you.
A narcissist biggest weapon is separating you from your friends, family. He isolates you completely, you end up drowning in your own thoughts. But if you are going to be able to stand up to him, you need a strong support system, you need to be able to pour out your thoughts and emotions to get the validation you need to get back on your feet. It might be daunting task, but you need to start reaching out to your old friends, make new friends. Reconnect with your family as often as possible and only then will you be able to find the strength.
Step 3: Free your mind… it’s not you, it’s him.
Remember it’s not you it’s him, every time he tries to poison you against yourself, every time he makes you feel like you cant get anything right, block it out , its not you he is the villain in all this. He was never satisfied with anything you did and he is not going to start now. He will tell you its your fault that you left him. He will play the victim and start planting those seeds of doubt in your head. Shut your mind out to him, hold your head up and remember your best is good enough.
Just remember, you are good enough, its not your fault he is like that. Its not your responsibility to fight his demons. Take care of you, and you will be just fine.
